Head of People & Culture at Maryland Oncology Hematology, overseeing the HR strategic planning and ensuring an engaging environment for all.
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Life — and modern work life, in particular — is definitely not a fairy tale, especially as we watch the news while quarantined and see all the numbers associated with the coronavirus pandemic. However, one thing that is often consistent between the real world of work and fairy tales is the antagonist.
Do you feel like one of the select few in your office who does not make false, inappropriate side comments and jokes about others, or who does not manipulate others and stir the office pot? If you desire to continually achieve goals and accomplish more at work by soaring above toxic workplace behaviors, here are seven steps to help you shine.
Marvel The Manipulator
1. Be confident: Manipulators tend to prey on those they perceive as weak. As a result, you must be confident in yourself and who you were created to be. Healthy self-esteem is critical, and it is observed in everything you say, do and even wear. Take good care of yourself — after all, you deserve it. Individuals who know who they are cannot easily be manipulated into doing what someone else wants them to do. When your manipulator starts observing your new posture or assertive tone of voice, they will think twice before trying to ask you to do their dirty work.
2. Exercise your voice: Has an employee, co-worker or boss ever placed blame on you for something they did wrong? That is probably because they are counting on you not saying anything in self-defense. However, because you are confident, you have what it takes to exercise your voice. Voice your concerns, and follow up in an email so there is a lower probability of someone successfully rewriting the story of what happened. You were selected for your job for a purpose, so stay positive, and be sure to use your voice.
Intrigue The Intimidator
3. Be fearless: The unhealthiest and least professional type of manipulator will often not believe your perspective or just refuse to let a negative situation end, and so will try to intimidate you. Let us get you dressed in full fear-proof armor for the intimidator. Your focus should be on remaining calm and being fearless as you remember the talents you bring to the team that no one else can.
4. Let your character speak for itself: Many intimidators will start a smear campaign once confronted, with the goal of calling into question the kind of person or employee you are. Do not be concerned — people will always talk. In situations like these, do an inventory check to make sure your character can speak for itself. Let your yes mean yes; let your no mean no. And always tell the truth. The truth can set you free from the intimidator trying to force you to say or do something to defend yourself.
Defeat The Dominator
5. Execute amazing work: When the bully at your job realizes their tactics have not worked and you have not succumbed to their control, they are likely to turn up the heat. Fasten your seatbelt and go to work. Remember why you chose your profession and why you decided to work for the company. Organize your to-do list. Stay focused on the task at hand, and execute your best work. Your ability to implement new strategies the company has needed or your capability to solve a reoccurring problem will allow for your managers and company leadership to recognize your talent.
6. Support your case with evidence: In a toxic situation, you may be blamed for something you had nothing to do with or have the truth obscured so as to portray you as the culprit. It is imperative you keep great records. Save old emails and document conversations so you can pull your files and produce evidence if the need presents itself. It is completely understandable if being blamed wrongfully frustrates you. Just remember, every circumstance that comes your way is an opportunity to polish your standing with leadership and set things up for your next promotion.
Eradicate The Exploiter
7. Be your authentic self: When you triumph out of the blame game, you would like to believe your antagonist will quit, but they may still attempt to exploit you. Never forget that others are watching this unfold and may even tip you off to the next surprise that is waiting for you. Be grateful if a colleague shares this insight with you. Let someone you trust in the C-suite know what is going on so they are aware of these disruptions. In my experience, all this attention is due to your intellect, talent and exemplary work that is a threat to the other person’s insecurities, and the antagonist always ends up facing a consequence. It is likely only a matter of time. Continue to rise above the negativity and be your beautiful, authentic self.
By implementing these seven steps, you can position yourself for success in even the most toxic workplace. Leaders and peers will know you are a confident professional who speaks up for yourself. In addition, you will not be arrested by fear, but will let your character speak for itself as you execute amazing work. Your colleagues will know they can count on you and that you will unapologetically be your authentic self. Go ahead and shine on.
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