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Is A ‘Family’ Work Culture Toxic? 16 Ways Employers Can Set Healthier Expectations

Forbes Human Resources Council

You may have heard your coworker or supervisor say they refer to their team as their "family." Despite the good intentions behind the words, equating workplace relationships to familial relationships can have negative connotations. For example, a family dynamic may imply certain sacrifices need to be made for the betterment of the company, casting aside their own individual needs or personal development goals.

However, there are strategies leaders can develop to create an effective work culture built on trust and respect. Below, 16 members of Forbes Human Resources Council each share their take on how to shift a negatively perceived "family" work culture to a more positive, productive one.

1. Focus On Unique Talents

While usually well-intentioned, the primary concern with this terminology in the workplace is the implication that there are "children" in the family dynamic, rather than a group of adults with unique talents and skills used for the benefit of the organization. There are also very real gender, age and even ability nuances within that dynamic which create barriers to equity within organizations. - Rebecca Edwards, Infinite HR of Charlotte

2. Emulate Servant Leadership

I train my clients to try and emulate servant leadership as often as possible. I think we have gotten away from a family culture in the workplace. I want my leaders to care as much, if not more about their teams’ 5-9, as they do their 9-5. Take care of your employees' time, money and family and they will fight for you. - Greg Henderson, Whirks

3. Set Clear Expectations

Leaders need to clearly frame the softer part of how people should carry themselves and interact with one another. Framing of authenticity, recognizing and effectively handling conflict in constructive ways and being clear on what constitutes unwanted behavior, should be part of this initial framing. - Pravir Malik, Galaxiez

4. Provide Clarity

Equating an organization to "family" is the right intent. Just as long as there is clarity and acceptance that in every family there are struggles and dysfunctions. Teach that when these behaviors show up, the family just has to work a little harder. Show a little more grace and tolerance. Never accept disruptive behavior. If a culture shift is a goal, the first step is acknowledgment. - Tina R. Walker, California Community Foundation

5. Celebrate Your Team

Words matter, a company that positions as a family may be setting an expectation of unconditional acceptance. A culture of team demands excellence, values skills and expertise, embraces precision and standards, actively coaches and rewards. To build an inclusive and inspiring team, reward the defense and assist with the same care as the person scoring the goal —celebrate the team to achieve the win. - MJ Vigil, Medable Inc.

6. Promote Healthy Relationships

Employers sometimes use talk of a "family" culture to justify requiring employees to be available after hours, just as they would be for their families, but this can do more harm than good. Companies seeking to move away from a "family" outlook should strive to promote a friendly, cohesive workplace that values hard work and fosters healthy personal and professional relationships between employees. - Laura Spawn, Virtual Vocations, Inc.

7. Represent Ideal Behaviors

Leaders model the new behaviors to provide a good role model for the workforce and make them feel that they are part of a family. If a leader does not exhibit any indication of a change of in their own behaviors, it is unlikely that the workforce will take this initiative on their own. A leader must believe in the new family culture and drive this in the organization for future success. - Soumyasanto Sen, People Conscience

8. Switch Up Your Language

When companies talk about being like a family, I usually understand they are using it as shorthand to say they are creating a culture of trust, which is an important aspect of any culture. However, the "family" language can feel overly personal and invasive for some, so consider rebranding to use the word "team" instead, which gets at the same point, but is a little less fraught with baggage. - Tracy Cote, StockX

9. Encourage Good Work-Life Balance

Though some employers may offer a work culture with a family feel, they may expect the same time and emotional commitment that families do. Leaders must recognize that no matter how close-knit their company is, employees are still there to do a job and need time away from work to rest and focus on non-work relationships. This should be built into the culture and addressed with allotted PTO. - John Feldmann, Insperity


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10. Clearly Define An Ideal Workplace Culture

Culture is underlying assumptions, common espoused values and artifacts of the firm. For a "family" culture to transition into a "professional" ethos, a clear, consistent and communicable culture should be defined for all. The firm's policy should reflect those underlying assumptions, values and symbols or stories that should be used as artifacts to build respect. - Kumar Abhishek, S&P Global

11. Hold People Accountable

Mistakes that companies make are not holding people accountable. People equate family culture and wanting to be friendly to everyone. It is important for organizations to understand that allowing people to get away with bad behavior can have a drastic impact on their workforce. I like to focus on kindness, openness and growth. Create an environment of trust where people can grow. - Katie Ervin, Park University

12. Map Out Values

Change the narrative of a "family culture" to one focused on values. Describing your culture as one that is founded on trust, communication, respect for one another and who ultimately want success for all parties, feels like the fundamentals of a family without naming it that. Those descriptors feel stronger, more exciting and maintain boundaries while having a powerful culture to promote. - Amy Odeneal, Business Enablement

13. Define 'Family'

Define what family means—as its relevance varies. Instead of utilizing the blanket term of "family," explain what this means to the organization. Many times, organizations fail to express their family stance is based on diversity while policies, procedures and rules govern the workplace which confuses many employees. - Nakisha Griffin, Ripple Effect

14. Advance Workplace Friendships

I never like it when I join a new company and I’m told: "Welcome to the family!" Being at work establishes a commercial relationship between people. It does not mean one cannot have a best friend at work. It is actually crucial to career success to establish strong friendships at work. Gallup does ask in its survey if you have a best friend at work. It is always the most controversial question! - Léa Baltzinger, iHerb

15. Listen To Feedback

Uncover what employees value most about the culture by digging deeper. Ask what types of experiences and actions contribute to the "family" feel, and use that unique feedback to hone in on a different way of describing the culture, based on what employees value most. Not only will this help you shift focus in a subtle way, but it will also help you build a compelling, authentic employee value proposition. - Nicole Fernandes, Blu Ivy Group

16. Set Clear Goals

Setting clear goals and objectives ensures that employees are focused on reaching business objectives and understand their contribution to the vision of the company. Aligning your workforce to the company goals will help refocus and align on what the expectation is on a daily basis. One tip is to align goal setting on a company, department, team and individual level. - Caroline Faulds, Canada Pooch

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