Our flight back to the van was far less eventful than the first one. It took off at 9:30pm and even with both dogs, it was all pretty easy. My girlfriend and I had the row to ourselves and did our best to get comfortable in the budget airline seats for 3 hours. 

I’m personally convinced they intentionally design seats on this particular airline so you never get comfortable. They have these little bars that stick out at your feet, I’m assuming to make a clear distinction in the foot room between you and the person next to you. When you put up the arm rest, it actually just sticks out. There’s no option for a cleared row, like those outdoor benches with the bump in the middle. 

One feature they don’t have that I actually love? No recline on the seat. This might be a controversial statement, but I see absolutely no reason for the airline seats to recline at all. While they may make the person in the seat marginally more comfortable, they make everyone behind them way more uncomfortable. 

Everyone is me. I’ve had people recline so far back that I could have kissed the top of their head without strain. Why does that deep of a recline exist on a plane? I have no idea. Maybe that was another busted Boeing feature. 

The reason I really hate the recline is that it prevents me from being able to work. The physics just don’t work. They lean back so far there’s a 45 degree angle between the chair and my tray table. That’s about 45 degrees short of the 90 degree angle I need to actually be able to open my laptop and work. 

On those flights where the extreme reclining occurred, I would spend the entire time so annoyed. I couldn’t bear the thought of being on a plane just sitting there. Awake. Doing nothing. Before flights, I would create lists of work I could do on the plane to ensure I would use every second wisely. I would spend at least an hour making a list of work I could do with a WiFi connection and an offline list in case the internet wasn’t working. I was trying to maximize every minute.

Making the list made me feel like I had to spend that time working on planes when I didn’t want to. I went past the point of exhaustion after long trips to conferences. I even tried to get stuff done on a red eye flying home from Alaska. I was mad I couldn’t send emails at 3am.

I didn’t realize it until we were halfway through the flight back to the van, but I didn’t work on these last two flights. I didn’t even try to prepare a list. I’d love to say I’ve changed. Maybe I have. One big thing changed for sure: I don’t think my only purpose on this planet lies inside some to-do list. 

Truly, the thing that actually slowed me down was our dogs. I was so focused on making sure they would be ok that I forgot the thing that didn’t really matter: work. It turns out, I actually enjoy my life a lot more when I focus on what I love instead of just getting shit done. Frankly, I wish I realized that a long time ago. I bet the people who were sitting in my row at 3am would agree. 

The hardest part about focusing on what matters for me is the guilt of slowing down. The little voice inside me that wonders just how busy the next day, week, or month will feel if I don’t get ahead with every moment I have. At this phase of my life, it just doesn’t matter as much. 

That’s the big lesson dogs can teach us. Sure, dogs make us slow down. But I think that’s the point. 

Weekly Letters dog dogs