What Your Ugly Christmas Sweater Says About the Kind of Recruiter You Are

Fashion alert: Ugly sweaters have officially hijacked the holidays. What started as an ironic thrift-store gag has grown into an all-out sartorial obsession, replete with theme parties, celebrity endorsements, and a national day of celebration. Some say these novelty knits can be a window into your personality, a clue into whether you’re an introvert or a narcissist or a cotton-headed ninny muggins. 

Or a recruiter! So in the spirit of the season, we’ve rounded up six of the ugliest Christmas sweaters we could find to see what they say about the recruiters who wear them. So bundle up, pour yourself some eggnog, and show off your ugly side. 

1. The Ringmaster: Handles anything thrown at them

Juggling open reqs, managing manager expectations, keeping on top of the latest tools and trends of the trade — your job can sometimes feel like a three-ring circus. Which is why everything about this garish game garment screams “add to cart.” Yes, you’re being yanked in a million different directions daily. But you somehow summon the bandwidth and energy to pull off the impossible. And you do it with a smile. So go ahead, you say. Take your best shot. I’ll make you a winner! 

2. C-Suite Wrangler: Knows how to find the right executive for any high-level role

It takes a boss to hire a boss, and that’s exactly what you’ll look like strutting toward the punch bowl in this multilayered masterpiece. Years of cultivating relationships with top executives have made you someone for whom the phrase “Christmas sweater casual” does not compute. You’re buttoned-up, plugged-in, board-vetted, and you’ve got a pipeline full of passive talent from here to Davos. Not to mention the retainer fees to prove it. And the built-in tie: It says, “Dress for the job you want to fill, not like some schmuck in an ugly sweater.” 

3. The Troubleshooter: Gets the job done no matter how big the obstacles

It takes a special kind of recruiter to pull off this movie poster pullover. Someone who can sense trouble coming a mile away. Someone who jumps out in front of a challenge, and stays there, until the work is done. Like your spirit animal John McClane crawling bloodied through the air vents of Nakatomi Plaza, you, too, are a die-hard closer. Teams rely on you to guide them through the gnarliest of storms. And though you take your fair share of bumps and bruises along the way, in the end you’re always left holding the signed offer letter. Yippee ki yay, indeed!

4. The Beacon: Lights up every room with a glowing personality 

Your personality is so big that you could even say it glows. And with this grinning torso torch of a sweater, so will you! Colleagues know you as a social butterfly who lights up the room, making connections at every turn. Candidates see you as a beacon, an illuminator, and a builder and nurturer of relationships. Without your positive vibes and focused effervescence, the rest of the team would stumble around in the fog. (Unlike you, it also comes in blue.) 

5. The Life Coach: Sets up people for long-term success

There’s nothing like a featureless, tea-sipping Ted Lasso to remind people that you approach talent acquisition a little differently. You’re eager to clock wins as much as the next recruiter, but like the fictional coach of AFC Richmond, what really butters your biscuit is the experience. You’re a passionate advocate for your candidates who takes the time to know them and their career goals. And you know the job’s not over once the position is filled: You focus on setting them up for long-term success, even if it adds to your workload. Because, ultimately, you believe in Ted’s words: “Taking on a challenge is a lot like riding a horse. If you’re comfortable while doing it, you’re probably doing it wrong.” 

6. The Twofer: Does the job of two people

Great for keeping warm during those dreaded hiring freezes, this stretch limo of ironic holiday apparel is big enough for two. Good thing, because you’ve been doubling down on your work duties since the last round of layoffs. Still, you wear the sweater proudly, albeit loosely, as a sort of painful reminder that even though your team is depleted and you’re on the brink of burnout, you show up every day ready to fill the gaps. Are the reindeers on your chest smiling? Nope. Will they still trudge through the snow all night to meet their deadline? Absolutely. And so will you.

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