Jobs Ads from Hell — and What They Teach Us

Consider them the job ads from hell. They’re job descriptions so full of red flags that they make candidates want to do anything . . . except take the job. 

Earlier this year, an ad appeared on the New York Foundation for the Arts website, posted by a high profile “Art World Family” seeking an executive/personal assistant. Glamorous? Possibly. Dream job? Not exactly. 

The ideal candidate was expected to “seamlessly juggle multiple priorities in a dynamic, unstructured environment and possess flexibility to change course at a moment’s notice.” Among many domestic chores, the assistant’s responsibilities included serving “as the central point of communication to household staff (includes chef, nannies, landscaper, dog walkers, housekeeper, contractors, and building managers).” They would sometimes be left alone with the couple’s 4-year-old child. And they would be required to “manage dog systems (potty breaks, food, day care, dog walkers, vet appts),” and help with in-studio cats. 

But wait, there’s more. The would-be assistant would also need to manage travel for the family, as well as members of the artist’s studio, book restaurant reservations, pick up clothes from “high-end” stores — and help maintain the couples’ apartment rooftop garden. The ideal candidate, the ad said, “must be dedicated to a simple goal: make life easier for the couple in every way possible.” 

Unrealistic expectations set the tone 

The Art Couple aren’t the only ones posting job ads with excessive demands. Three years ago, a Los Angeles–based “well-known celebrity/influencer” (with 10 million followers!) posted an ad for a full-time assistant. The ad mentioned a list of domestic and professional duties on par with the Art Couple but insisted — for $25 to $30 an hour — that the candidate also have no emotions or life: “You must keep all emotion/private life matters completely away from this world. . . . You must be able to be the bad guy, remove emotion, and bounce back instantly from any mistakes.”

Unrealistic expectations abound in job ads from hell. A recent ad on Buzzfeed for an entry-level position required that the candidate have “8+ years of experience as a SW [software] engineer.” And a part-time operations assistant position — also on Buzzfeed — wanted a candidate for whom “being available any day and time is not a problem for you.”

None of these quite compare, however, to the ad for an office administration data-entry position in Malaysia in which there would be “no off day to attend funeral[s]” or the one for a caretaker in the U.S. who would be compensated with “power, water, and bathroom access,” but no actual wages.    

Red flags are on the rise 

OK, these examples are extreme. But they make a point: Candidates read between the lines of job descriptions for red flags that signal a toxic work culture. Among the biggest deal-breakers are a lack of a benefits section (which sends the message that companies don’t care about workers) or no mention of paid sick leave or time off. Candidates are also turned off by phrases such as “fast-paced environment” or situations that require a candidate who “can multitask” or “must handle stress” — all a recipe for burnout.

Phrases like these are also on the rise. The workforce analytics firm Revelio Labs recently combed through a number of job postings for phrases that describe a demanding job with no work-life balance. They found that more than a quarter of job postings contained at least one phrase that would be considered a red flag. That’s up 18% from January 2016. Revelio also found that it took longer to fill positions when the job description contained these phrases. 

How to write candidate-friendly job descriptions

There are a few simple ways to write job descriptions that will entice candidates to apply for open roles:  

1. Keep your list of responsibilities and requirements brief

Think about the role’s nice-to-haves versus its must-haves when writing your job description. Then eliminate the nice-to-haves and pare the must-haves to the bare essentials, keeping your job description short and to the point. This will make it easier for candidates to read, but also give them fewer reasons to pass on the job. 

2. Avoid using biased or red flag language

Your word choices signal what your company is like. Avoid phrases that might indicate an unhealthy workplace, including “fast-paced environment” or “hit the ground running” — unless these are truly vital to the role. Also avoid language that might be off-putting to women or older workers, such as “rockstar,” “outspoken,” or “digital native.” 

3. Highlight how your company takes care of its employees

Let candidates know what’s in it for them. Mention the salary range for the role. Highlight your company’s benefits, including flexible work, paid time off, sick leave, and professional development opportunities. Let job seekers know that yours is a place where they’ll be supported and encouraged to grow. 

Final thoughts 

The best way to appeal to candidates is to have a culture where people want to work to begin with. Company culture is among the most important criteria candidates consider when weighing a job offer. So, tell candidates how you’ll support them. Tell them how you’ll help them grow. And for goodness’ sake, forget about asking them to “manage dog systems” too.

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