Kelly Kubicek is the Co-Founder and CEO of Fulcrum HR Consulting.
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In today's workplace and business world, people are increasingly careful with how they structure their words. You might think, "What’s wrong with being tolerant and careful not to hurt other people’s feelings?’’ Indeed, there is nothing wrong with being considerate and not offending others purposefully. The problem starts when employees are unable to genuinely express themselves in the workplace.
In recent years, it has been popular to advocate solely for soft leadership and a friendly approach to employees. As a result, this has caused some to believe bosses are tyrannical and autocratic if they expect excellence and hard work. Yet, a nice and friendly leader isn’t necessarily a good boss. Instead, they might care more about being liked by their workers than stimulating them to deliver stellar results and drive progress.
Today's business environment can make it challenging to cultivate any other leadership style without risking judgment and wrong impressions. But what happens when no other type but soft leadership is allowed?
Is Soft Leadership The Only Acceptable Leadership Style?
Soft leadership has become imperative in the past few years. It’s recommended, talked about and often propagated as an example of excellent leadership. However, many people might forget that autocratic leaders aren’t the only other option. Thus, just because a boss doesn’t prioritize making tight-knit bonds with their workers, it doesn’t mean they are a dictator or intolerant.
But I believe if we push soft leadership as the only correct approach, many bosses might be unable to do their best and inspire employees because they aren’t able to embody their true leadership style. Besides, people might stop expressing their opinions because they fear not coming across as agreeable.
Toxic positivity may also enter the office, forcing employees to pretend everything is alright, even when it’s not. That could potentially lead to self-censorship and a work environment where people are afraid to talk with each other and address issues and injustice.
Instead of actively tackling problems and having constructive discussions, many employees could turn to passive aggression. In the worst case, speaking out and admitting something is wrong could be seen as controversial and hurtful, causing people to cancel those who speak their minds.
Moreover, research from 2019 found that 63% of employees fear sharing concerns or negative feedback at work. The main reason for their apprehension is that they don’t want to seem combative or uncooperative. Since 80% of workers think it is important to be considered nice by those they work with, most avoid saying anything that may come across as potentially negative. Soft leadership could exacerbate that problem, as soft leaders tend to do everything to maintain the peace and have everyone get along.
But there are other, perhaps even more efficient, leadership styles that rarely get attention. For instance, bosses with a transformational approach like to challenge people, inspire tough conversations and stimulate progress. Those with a coaching style aim to motivate people and transfer skills, while visionaries are focused on progress and stellar performance.
Here are the top five reasons why soft leaders could be negatively impacting your organization.
1. Short Conversations Quickly Turn Into Long Ones
Instead of providing short, constructive feedback, soft leaders often elaborate on their thoughts unnecessarily, turning even a short interaction into a lengthy conversation. The goal isn’t to make employees feel better about their mistakes or criticisms. It’s about getting them to correct their errors or deliver better results.
2. Meetings Often Drag Out And Lose The Point
Soft leaders often allow more dominant personalities to take over their meetings, shutting out introverted employees and going off the topic. Bosses must be assertive and ensure everyone participates in a conversation equally. Keeping meetings on track and controlling loudmouths isn’t intolerant and offensive but professional and goal-oriented.
3. Conflict Mediation Without Resolutions
Tough discussions are typically a big "no" in workplaces with soft leaders, but these bosses take the role of mediators when arguments do occur. That sucks them into employees’ conflicts and often ends without a solution because they want to appease everyone.
But from my perspective, an efficient leader should only intervene in cases of severe matters and encourage workers to solve their conflicts without involving third parties.
4. Employees Often Repeat Their Mistakes
Employees will naturally make mistakes that will help them learn and grow. But employees could repeat their errors if they have soft bosses because they might assume there would be no consequences. Even though leaders shouldn’t punish anyone or instill fear, it’s necessary to teach workers to take things seriously and work on improving.
5. Employees Struggle With Learning And Development
Leaders shouldn’t hesitate to ask employees about their goals, whether they learned something new in the past week and how they’ll push through their projects. Workers should also motivate people to learn and develop using HARD (heartfelt, animated, required, difficult) goals. These can encourage workers to step out of their comfort zone, be ambitious and adopt demanding skills.
Leaders can be empathetic and inspiring without indulging or hoping to please everyone. Overly soft leadership often leads to stagnation, discourages people from speaking out and fails to push employees to deliver stellar results.
Instead, create leaders who challenge employees and motivate them to do their best instead of trying to accommodate everyone and losing authority in the process.
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