Finding Faith
Some of my earliest memories are inside church and attending youth group meetings. I found one church particularly magical on the rural roads of South Carolina. Tucked away in the woods was this large white building with a steeple. I still remember the way the bright light crept in each Sunday morning as the minutes passed, illuminating every arch and angle of the intricate interior. It was there that I found my faith.
The greatest gift that church gave me was a relationship with God, where I was never worried about being scorned or rejected. I never questioned if God could love the person I truly was. I wasn’t concerned with going to hell. I was taught to love others as God loved me. To love big. God was love. The kind of love that could do anything.
With that kind of relationship to my higher power, I never worried He would be the one to reject me when I came out. I was scared of the people. I didn’t know how to show up with a girlfriend at my family’s house. I didn’t know what I wanted to be known for at work, but gay wasn’t it. Their comments and my fear of their reactions chipped away at my faith. They made me think maybe I had something to worry about between me and God.
In the first few years of my career, I just wanted to be good. So I was. I worked later, faster, and harder than anyone. I had to be the best—not the gay person. Who I was didn’t matter at work. At least, that’s what I told myself. I traded my faith for a focus on controlling how people saw me—my future.
In the middle of this work life, I traded palatability for authenticity. I smiled and nodded off any feeling that something just didn’t fit. I wanted to be liked. I thought that’s how the world worked. You put in a lot of effort. People liked you. That’s the formula for success, right? So, I traded my faith for fitting a mold.
Today, as a business owner who’s fully aware that showing up as myself has cost me business, I won’t let it cost my faith. In this work, I’m not just earning a paycheck. I am earning choices, and one I will make without hesitation is this: I will not hide who I am. I won’t trade anything for my faith.
Kat Kibben View All →
Kat Kibben [they/them] is a keynote speaker, writing expert, and LGBTQIA+ advocate who teaches hiring teams how to write inclusive job postings that will get the right person to apply faster.
Before founding Three Ears Media, Katrina was a CMO, Technical Copywriter, and Managing Editor for leading companies like Monster, Care.com, and Randstad Worldwide. With 15+ years of recruitment marketing and training experience, Katrina knows how to turn talented recruiting teams into talented writers who write for people, not about work.
Today, Katrina is frequently featured as an HR and recruiting expert in publications like The New York Times, Chicago Tribune, and Forbes. They’ve been named to numerous lists, including LinkedIn’s Top Voices in Job Search & Careers. When not speaking, writing, or training, you’ll find Katrina traveling the country in their van or spending some much needed downtime with the dogs that inspired the name Three Ears Media.