Organizational Psychologist, President at QuestionPro Workforce, helping employers build Empathy at Scale in their organizations.
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What makes an exceptional leader is always evolving, so there's no single way to define it. Much of it is aligned with our own unique characteristics and how we want to show up in the world. We all have our own version of reality, which impacts us in different ways. But when it comes to being a leader professionally, the organization you work for likely has specific expectations of how they would like you to behave or what they believe makes someone exceptional within the workplace culture.
For these reasons, and many more, when individuals are looking to grow and have an even greater impact in their leadership roles, the perspective and advice from those around them become invaluable. While feedback is hugely important, giving or receiving it isn't particularly second nature for most people. There may not be a single recipe that works for everyone equally, but these are five best practices I've learned that stand the test of time.
The kind of feedback you seek makes a huge difference.
There are different philosophies on the value of positive feedback versus constructive feedback, and I'm a firm believer that there's a huge value in both. Our strengths and the things we do that make a positive impact aren't always evident to us, so knowing what they are is how we propel forward. On the other side, being unaware of or ignoring the things that are holding us back is dangerous.
So ask your managers and peers for both kinds of feedback. Framing it as asking for advice, recommendations or suggestions may fare a lot better because some people believe "feedback" and "criticism" have negative connotations. Even with a softer request, the information you receive will be just as valuable.
It’s important to ask in an authentic way.
Leaders have different styles of communication. Some are more polite and polished, while others are more direct and straightforward. When you're asking others for feedback, it’s important to stay authentic to who you are and how you communicate. For example, if you have more of a direct style but try to really skirt around how you ask for this feedback, it will likely cause others to put their guard up. So be sincere and genuine in how you ask.
The way you react makes a huge difference.
Receiving positive feedback is an ego booster, but constructive feedback can be difficult to hear for just about anyone. Make sure you're truly listening and taking the information in objectively. Don't be defensive or try to justify your actions. The person sharing feedback is putting themselves in a vulnerable situation to help you, so absorb what they're saying and wait until they're done before you respond. A key part of this process will also be sharing what actions you plan to take (and why) based on what you heard.
Make asking for feedback a ritual.
If you have regular meetings with your team and colleagues—and I hope you do—make professional development conversation an integral piece. As it becomes more natural for you to ask, respondents will become more comfortable sharing their observations. When you seek feedback regularly, you'll also be likely to find yourself internalizing it with increasing ease over time.
Use technology as a support.
As someone who's worked with HR technology my entire career, I'm a huge advocate for its ability to help with many of the HR processes we try to put in place. For example, 360-degree feedback technology is particularly useful because it doesn’t leave it to the individual to start the process. These tools can collect multiple viewpoints at once, so the feedback generated is more objective and often comes with advice on actions to take.
No matter how sophisticated the technology, however, if you're not dedicated to a growth mindset, its insights won't make you a better leader. It’s a great process enabler and a way to provide more valuable data, but you have to be willing to put in the effort to change.
As leaders, gaining perspective from others on our performance is critical for growth and development. Start incorporating feedback requests into your leadership approach now, and track your resulting improvements over time. Positive improvement builds, so seeking feedback and acting on it will become a productive and sustainable habit for you.
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