The workplace isn't always a happy environment for some, and being at odds with your direct manager on a regular basis can make the entire situation even more awkward. This can even cause you to become less motivated and lose focus on the job at hand. If you are frustrated about your current circumstances and are seemingly being misunderstood by your boss, then it's time to request a one-on-one meeting.
But, before you do anything hasty, stay calm, step back and take a moment to reflect on your own contributions (and how you got here) so you can seek clarification on where things went wrong and learn how to mend the broken lines of communication.
Below, 11 Forbes Human Resources Council members provide their best advice on ways to find some common ground with a superior and sort through the issues you've been dealing with.
Forbes Human Resources Council members share their insights.
Photos courtesy of individual members.1. Schedule A One-On-One Conversation
I would suggest the employee schedule a time to sit down with their manager if they haven't already done so. I’d encourage them to have a list of their concerns, along with specific examples that they can discuss. This will help them stay on track if they are anxious or emotional. A good manager will be open to the discussion and be willing to have follow-up meetings as the issues are being resolved. - Sherrie LeCheminant, Blackstone Products
2. Be Open To Multiple Lines Of Communication
I believe communication is key. Often, an employee and their manager may have different ways of communicating and it can lead to misunderstandings and disagreements. I try to encourage my managers to ask each of their team members what their preferred method of communication is and how they want to receive feedback, good and bad. If they do this, it genuinely solves a lot of problems. - Kayti Patterson, Xenter, Inc.
3. Let Your Work Shine
Many people dream of being employed by a certified "Great Place to Work!" organization. As an HR professional, I coach others on how to create an environment where the team can thrive. However, there are some people who are downright miserable with themselves that try to create toxicity for others. The best thing to do in these types of situations is to execute excellent work. Let your work do all the talking and shine! - Tish McFadden, The Shine Institute
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4. Prepare A List Of Pain Points To Be Discussed
I always suggest a conversation with the manager first but this needs to be a discussion that the employee is prepared for. The employee should write down the objective for the conversation, listing examples of the struggles, asking for the manager's perspective and then being open to a discussion where a mutually agreeable set of actions is discussed for resolution. Structured one-on-ones should follow. - Elizabeth Corey, Velosio
5. Get To The Root Cause
It's important to surface the root causes behind any issues an employee is experiencing. Sometimes the root causes are related to differences in communication style or frequency, preferences regarding delegation of responsibility or general management approach. Once employees understand the causes, they can offer suggestions for improving the relationship and better align their own practices for success. - Heide Abelli, Boston College
6. Express Facts, Not Emotions
Sit with the person you are having a hard time with. Express yourself with facts, not emotions. Perhaps there is a reason for the disconnect, which very well could be lack of communication on both sides. Articulate your concerns but also come with a solution; and listen to the other party as you both may come to a common ground quicker than you think. Be open, honest and willing to listen. - Heather Smith, Flimp Communications
7. Reflect On Your Contribution
First, ask yourself what you may be doing to cause a problem. If you're absolutely certain you have not contributed to the problem, then approach the manager, ask how you can help them and explain that you are struggling. Never point a finger. If you can't get anywhere with this approach, then start looking for another job. I rarely find that HR solves these issues because they work for the company, not the employee. - Richard Polak, American Benefits Council
8. Ask A Human Resources Officer For Guidance
The first thing is to contact HR and document the issues you have been experiencing. HR can give the employee the tools to navigate difficult conversations directly with the manager to reach common ground. HR can also coach the manager in case there are blind spots with their management style they may be unaware of. In a worst case scenario, HR can be looped in to mediate the issues. - Katya Daniel, Golden Hippo
9. Understand Each Person's Point Of View
We like to revert back to our first value of seeking to understand before being understood. One thing that is crucial to being a good listener is thoroughly working to understand the point of view of the manager or employee. Identifying the concerns as an example of misaligned expectations or motivations will support properly identifying the real issues to provide the change that is needed to improve the relationship. - Val Rupp, fabric.inc
10. Take The High Road
Employees should remain professional, patient and tread carefully before making hasty decisions that can derail careers. If employees take the high road and raise their level of performance, any issues might take a back seat or even fade away. One way to find common ground is to ask managers for feedback or suggestions to help them reach their goals, which demonstrates mutual support. - Niki Jorgensen, Insperity
11. Stay Calm And Look At The Whole Picture
When an employee is dealing with a bad boss, the first step is to understand the situation. I know that I am passionate and, at times, my passion will view a situation differently until I calm down and see the whole picture. Once we can take the emotion out, we can work on the root cause of the problem. It may be you have a bad boss or a resolvable issue. - Katie Ervin, Park University
