Nurit Shiber is Chief People Officer at Axonius where she oversees the company's highly distributed global HR team.
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To be vulnerable with anyone, let alone your peers or your boss, is an incredibly hard and scary thing to do. Many of us hold the misconception that vulnerability equals weakness, but I’d argue it proves the exact opposite: Vulnerability demonstrates strength and courage.
And that’s precisely why your organization should lead with it, especially during planning sessions and company offsites where critical business and people discussions are taking place. Specifically, start any planning session or in-person get-together by asking attendees to share the biggest mistakes they made over the past year, what they learned as a result and how it will impact their decisions in the future.
Why Mistakes?
We’re all living in a highly disruptive environment. We’re all having to figure out how to navigate a post-Covid-19 world, dealing with its impacts as well as dealing with economic uncertainty. As a result, all businesses and leaders have needed—and continue to need—to invest time in adjusting at a rapid pace and in a dynamic and uncertain environment. And yet, we’ve had little time to pause, reflect, be vulnerable and share our experiences with others who might be grappling with similar things and making the same mistakes.
The good news is that any time we get something wrong, we also gain an opportunity to learn and grow. When we allow ourselves to show our peers that we aren’t perfect, we enable more human connection to take place within the workplace, as well as critical learning that can guide future actions.
When we refuse to identify and share our mistakes, we alienate ourselves and limit our potential. So how can we make space for that and integrate it into our planning for the future?
Talk About Mistakes During A Leadership Offsite
How do you talk about mistakes during a leadership offsite? First, you create an intentional space for it. In a recent leadership offsite I designed, the first session of the first day required everyone to come to the table prepared to share the mistakes they made as leaders over the past year and what they learned from them. But the point was not to ramble off a list of things that went wrong; instead, as each of us talked through where we went wrong, we also shared what we felt the impact of each mistake was.
Second, it’s important that each team member tries to identify the specific reasons for their mistakes and what they learned from them. That way they are encouraged to focus on their growth and improvement. In addition, the team as a whole can identify commonalities that relate to how they work as a team (or don’t work as a team) and whether there are cross-functional themes that need to be addressed on a broader basis.
Lastly, it’s also important that the person who shares their mistakes first is the one who holds the most senior title. Perhaps it’s your CEO, or if you’re in a department meeting, maybe it’s the person who oversees the entire team. When we hear our leaders discuss their errors and what they learned, it shows vulnerability and a more human side that enables the rest of the team to feel more comfortable opening up in a public forum.
At your next leadership team meeting or offsite, give each person 15 to 20 minutes to share their mistakes and allow for five minutes of discussion after each—whether it’s clarifying questions or finding commonalities, some processing time is always helpful for everyone. Once everyone in the room has shared when and where their efforts went wrong, provide a 10- to 15-minute break before coming back into the final 30 minutes where the team discusses the key overall learnings. After this discussion, you can move on to next year’s planning.
The Role Of Authentic Leadership
By focusing on learning from your own mistakes and failures, and sharing them openly, you demonstrate authentic leadership. Authenticity allows us to create meaningful relationships in the workplace because it relies on trust and connection.
So as you finalize your plans for the coming year, I encourage you to lead with courage and pause to share and learn from your mistakes. Make it a point to highlight when you’ve done something wrong, the impact it had and how you’re going to correct it or refocus. Encourage your entire team to do the same, as well as other leaders in the organization—it could make your organization's planning process better, as well as create an atmosphere of greater trust and connection.
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