Statistically speaking, it’s likely that most of us will experience being laid off at some point in our careers. I was no exception. It was the timing that particularly sucked for me. I was 48 hours away from signing a mortgage for my dream house. The catch? It was already starting to feel like a nightmare because I didn’t know where my next paycheck was coming from. 

*Wait, are you just here to watch the Inclusive Candidate Experience Webinar? Click here!*

In the weeks after moving in, I started each day by sitting at the table and applying for jobs. It was the only activity that felt productive to me. I still remember how quiet it was. Every little noise echoed through the empty rooms. 

To say there were far fewer opportunities in Nashville at the time is an understatement. I had just moved from Boston. This was before remote work was considered a possibility. It was emotionally exhausting to hit refresh each morning and see the exact same jobs. Whenever something new popped up, I applied. I didn’t care if it sounded boring or if there were red flags in the job post. I needed a paycheck. 

I remember when I saw, what I believed to be, the perfect job for me. On paper, I was the ideal candidate. I had just left the same industry. Same job title that I had before. Same work I was doing. The pay was low. I didn’t care. It was higher than $0. 

The first interview went great. We made jokes about dogs and had all the small talk that made me feel like they wanted to hire me. It was exactly what I needed after feeling hopeless for so long. I took that afternoon off from job hunting to unpack the boxes in my room. I felt free for the first time in a while. 

Before my next interview, I sat down to research everything I could about the organization and people. I was applying for a social media job. I had to know what they were posting about. In most cases, the corporate page was sharing information the owners posted on their personal accounts. So, out of curiosity and eagerness for the role, I clicked on their profiles to learn a little more about them. “Oh God,” I whispered under my breath as I scrolled the page to see at least 10 posts opposing the federal recognition of gay marriages. 

The problem here is that I was gay married. At the time, gay marriage was only recognized in some states and Tennessee was not one of them. For my marriage to carry the same legal protections, we had to have a manila folder of legal documents prepared. Over 60 pages. 

I felt a wave of emotions all at once. Panic. Fear. Disappointment. Sadness. Even in my desperation for a job, that was a deal breaker. I just couldn’t go to work every day for a boss who didn’t believe I deserved to have the same rights as everyone else. I didn’t have a conversation about it with them. I simply sent an email saying I wouldn’t continue in the process. 

It’s a reminder of why I am so passionate about creating a more inclusive candidate experience for everyone. I would not wish that feeling on anyone. Whether the moment is as scary as mine or a series of smaller red flags, no one should have to withdraw from an application because they know they can’t belong there. 

The catch? Often, the signs aren’t this distinct. Employers don’t even realize they’re happening. Maybe they aren’t hateful in nature. But subtle signs are still signs. That’s why I’ve been working on some new downloads that can give all of us a roadmap for building an inclusive candidate experience. It started with an ebook created by my team. Then, we invited more perspectives. Inclusion from one person’s perspective isn’t inclusive. 

I brought a few of those folks together on Monday of this week to add more context to their ebook contributions. What resulted was a really beautiful conversation. One I hope will continue in the offices of everyone who showed up to witness it. One I hope will continue in your office too after you watch it here.

Let’s create a world where people don’t have to wonder if they will belong. Where we don’t have to live with quiet understanding that we can’t have our dreams because of what we look like or who we love. Where our legacy outlives our career as we create an inclusive candidate experience that will let someone live their dream. 

Weekly Letters inclusive candidate experience