Pronouns In The Workplace [Employer’s Guide]

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Summary. Pronouns are words that are used in place of a noun. When talking about pronouns in the workplace, it’s a way to discuss and embrace gender and identity. Using the proper pronouns to refer to coworkers and clients is a way to show respect and promote inclusion.

Encouraging employees to offer their own pronouns and use the proper pronouns with their coworkers is an excellent way to promote diversity and inclusivity, which have numerous benefits for organizations overall.

Key Takeaways:

The commonly used pronouns are she/her, he/his, and they/them, though there are some others, such as ze/zem and ey/em. Additional gender-neutral pronouns are rarely used but should be respected.
Using the proper pronouns is a way to show respect, encourage diversity, limit discrimination, and prevent misunderstandings.
Finding out someone’s preferred pronoun can be difficult to do without causing offense. Usually, the best way is to introduce yourself with your own pronouns as a way to encourage them to reciprocate.
Many businesses have policies to allow or require their employees to include their pronouns in the signature block. The policy is unlikely to have any legal repercussions, but the pros and cons should be considered before implementing it.

Why Are Pronouns Important in the Workplace?

A pronoun is a word that is in place of someone’s name when referring to them. They include she/her/hers, he/him/his, and they/them/their. Of course, you/you/your, I/me/my, it/it/its, and we/us/our are also pronouns, but when referring to ones in the workplace, we’re typically talking about gender and how people wish to be referred to.

It’s important to use the proper pronouns in order to promote and encourage diversity in the workplace. Making a point of using the proper pronouns and encouraging them can have the following benefits:

Shows respect. For many of the people who come out as transgender, non-binary, genderqueer, or any other identity that isn’t cisgender, choosing their preferred pronouns is a major step in the process. That means that having others use the proper pronouns is important and respectful.
Encourages diversity. Not using the right pronouns is often upsetting. Refusing to use the right pronouns or repeatedly making mistakes is downright insulting.

That means that not using coworkers’ proffered pronouns or allowing others not to is a blow against equality and diversity, as it makes your workplace unwelcoming to those who don’t fit the gender binary.
Prevents embarrassment. Using incorrect pronouns to refer to someone is embarrassing, even if they’re a cisgender man or woman. If someone uses a nonstandard pronoun, such as “they,” or isn’t obviously female or male presenting, that can make mistakes more common.

Encouraging people to offer their preferred pronouns helps prevent misunderstandings, misassumptions, and breakdowns in communication.
Limits discrimination. If your organization has a policy where all staff is required to be referred to by their preferred name and pronoun, then that makes it harder for harassment to take root. This is most important in cases of transgender individuals, who typically change their names to fit their gender identity.

However, this also includes people who have unusual or unique names. That can be because their name is from a culture that speaks a different language than English, such as an Indian name, or because they have a creative name, like ones that are popular in the African American community.
Acknowledges the diversity of cultures and names. As work is becoming more globalized and the United States becomes more diverse, the names that you’ll encounter in the workplace have broadened. While many names you’ll encounter are obviously gendered, such as Sally, James, Patricia, and William, others are less clear.

This will, of course, cover androgynous names like Jaime and Riley, but it will also cover names you may be unfamiliar with. While someone raised in India will likely know the gender of Aarav, Brinda, and Dhriti, many people in the United States may not.

How to Ask Someone’s Preferred Pronoun

Many well-meaning people wish to use the proper pronouns for their coworkers but aren’t quite sure how to approach them. While it’ll vary a bit from person to person and workplace to workplace, there are some general guidelines you can follow to prevent you from making embarrassing or hurtful blunders.

Don’t make assumptions. This is something that’s almost impossible to avoid. Just about everyone has been heavily socialized to see gender in the binary of male and female, so our brains categorize them that way. Once you’re aware of this bias, however, try to rein it in and avoid making assumptions about someone’s gender.
Asking isn’t forbidden. Asking someone what pronoun they’d like you to use isn’t forbidden. However, the practice is fraught with potential complications. For one thing, if you only ask people who are androgynous looking or look like they could be transgender, then you’re singling them out.

In addition, there are cisgender individuals who will be affronted by the question. This is more often true for older people who didn’t grow up with as much gender diversity, but it isn’t exclusively the case.
Share yours. A better way to “ask,” if you will, is to share your own pronouns. That gives your conversational partner an opening to offer what pronouns they use.

They also decline to do so without having to seem rude. Not everyone is willing to share their pronouns, as they may not be out at work, or they may be waiting to see if they’ll be accepted.
Create situations where it’s natural. Natural may be a bit of a strong word for sharing preferred pronouns, as the idea of doing so is relativity new. That being said, asking people to share pronouns in an icebreaker situation can make it so that no one person is on the spot. Adding it to an email signature can also be a simple way to inform others.
Default to them when you’re unsure. If you’re in a situation where you’re unsure which pronoun to use, the singular they is a good default. This is done regularly when it’s someone you haven’t met, and you’re unsure of their gender. Continuing to use it even once you’ve met them isn’t much of a jump.
Don’t dwell on mistakes. It’s entirely possible that you’ll end up using the wrong pronoun at some point, especially if someone has just recently adopted a new one. While you should endeavor to use the proper ones, mistakes happen. Apologize, correct yourself, and move on.
React in an appropriate manner. If someone shares their preferred pronouns with you, don’t make a big deal out of it. Especially if they’re not the pronouns you would have guessed, some people will even use uncommon pronouns, such as ze/zem/zir/zirself or ey/em/eir/emself, or ask you to just use their name.

Remember that the whole idea of gender being a spectrum rather than binary is rather new for American society. Know that our language and customs are scrambling to keep up with the shift. Accept that that means you may encounter new terms and pronouns you didn’t know about, and do your best to use them properly and respectfully.
Accept corrections. Should you make a mistake in referring to someone, accept their correction. Apologize, restart the sentence to use the proper pronoun, and move on. Then do your best to refer to them the way that they asked you to.

Putting Pronouns in the Signature Block

Many businesses are considering the idea of having their employees add their pronouns to their signatures – some have even implemented the policy already. There are several different aspects to consider when deciding whether this will be best for your organization and employees.

There are three primary ways to handle this matter:

Require stating pronouns in their signature. Part of the idea behind this is to promote inclusion. That way, it isn’t just those who aren’t gender-conforming who have to take the lead and give their pronouns; everyone does it.
Forbid stating pronouns in their signature. Some people will resist listing their pronouns in their signature. This could be because they’re unfamiliar with shifting gender norms and don’t like the practice or resist it. Others may not be comfortable coming out to everyone and will be unsure of what pronouns to add to their signature.
Leave it up to the employee to choose. This is a compromise that allows your employees to do so if they’re comfortable with the practice. However, many organizations like their signature blocks to be formatted the same, and this will prevent that.

Pros:

Promotes diversity. Having your employees state their pronouns acknowledges that gender is diverse and complicated. It also shows that you care about using your employee’s proper pronouns, as well as making sure that others use them.
Prevents misunderstandings. It’s not just a matter of those who are gender nonconforming or nonbinary; some people have androgynous names or names their coworkers or clients are unfamiliar with. Listing their pronouns helps prevent the use of improper titles or assumptions.
Normalizes disclosing pronouns. As of now, many people find giving their pronouns a bit awkward, as it’s not something that was done until recently. The more often it’s done, the more commonplace it becomes and the more natural it will feel.
Allows coworkers to show solidarity. While it’s a small thing, cisgender colleagues can put their pronouns in their signatures as a way to show solidarity with the LGBTQ+ community. It can be a way to show their allyship and make their coworkers feel more accepted.

Cons:

Some people may not be comfortable with it. Not everyone is going to be thrilled about the idea of putting their pronouns out there. This can be because they might not be fully out. For instance, they may identify as they/them with their coworkers but he/him with clients out of fear of discrimination. Others may just find the practice offputting.
Emphasizes gender. Unfortunately, it has the side effect of emphasizing someone’s gender in the workplace. It makes it seem as if knowing someone’s gender is the most important thing in a professional environment, which is something that many people have tried to overcome.
It’s been politicized. As with many practices involving inclusivity, it’s been politicized. This means that many people will have a gut reaction to the practice and may refuse to consider it further.
It can seem performative. Having employees add their pronouns is a change that really has no negative consequences, nor does it require any particular company-wide changes.

For that reason, some will criticize the practice as performative, as it’s an act that seems to promote inclusivity without doing the hard work required to make it a reality.

References

Author

Di Doherty

Di has been a writer for more than half her life. Most of her writing so far has been fiction, and she’s gotten short stories published in online magazines Kzine and Silver Blade, as well as a flash fiction piece in the Bookends review. Di graduated from Mary Baldwin College (now University) with a degree in Psychology and Sociology.